Wedding Season
I am getting married in Korea this fall. As a Korean Adoptee marrying a Korean national, my partner and I have had a lot of conversations about the cultural differences between American and Korean weddings. There’s so many beautiful and meaningful aspects to both.
For our weddings in each country, we have decided to create our own unique blend. A deeper reflection of our relationship and the life we are building together. Wedding planning can feel daunting and overwhelming, especially when you’re planning two weddings in two very different countries.
That said, I have learned a lot from attending my friends’ and family members’ weddings in both Korea and the U.S.. Trust me! I have been to A LOT over the past few years. Taking advice and lessons from all sides, I feel more confident in how to make our wedding day more uniquely ours.
While no two weddings are the same (and shouldn’t be), if you’re finding yourself like me a little lost at the start, I have compiled a few ideas of how to create your own cross-cultural special day.
Incorporating Traditional Korean Wedding Customs into Your Ceremony
A traditional Korean wedding is a deeply symbolic ceremony rooted in Confucian values. The focus is less on the couple themselves and more on honoring the union of two families, ancestral heritage, and cultural traditions. During the ceremony, the bride and groom typically wear hanbok (한복), traditional Korean attire, and take part in a series of meaningful cermonial rituals.
While I go over some of these customs and how you can incorporate them into your own celebration, I also recommend checking out our article “Korean Weddings” for more in-depth information about the rich history behind these traditions.
Wear Specific Hanbok Colors
The colors of the hanboks worn by the bride and groom are symbolic of the taeguk (태극) or eum-yang (음양), known also as “yin and yang.” The bride wears a red hanbok and the groom wears a blue hanbok, which also symbolizes the colors of the Korean flag, and represents balance or complementary entities. Traditionally, weddings often began at dusk to further empathize the duality of night and day, or the balance between light and dark.
The mothers of the bride and groom also wore color specific hanboks, which is a tradition that is still present in modern Korean weddings. The mother of the bride often wears warm tones like pink, purple, or orange. While the mother of the groom wears cool tones like blue, gray, or green.
A Processional Parade with Candles
At the start of the ceremony, the groom’s side would join a processional parade to the bride’s house, while the groom often rode on horseback. Traditional Korean music would play, and the wedding officiant would enter the house and explain and begin the ceremony.
The two mothers of the couple would then walk in, the bride’s mom holding a red lit candle, and the groom’s mom holding a blue lit candle. When the two mothers reached the end of the procession, they would light one single candle, symbolic of the union. Today this tradition is still present in modern Korean weddings and usually indicates the start of the ceremony.
For your wedding, you can also consider hiring a small ensemble to perform live traditional Korean music or gugak (국악). Music could consist of gayageum (가야금), Or, haegeum (해금), which are stringed Korean instruments that has a beautiful and powerful tone. It’s a great way to elevate the mood for your processional, interlude, or cocktail hour.
A Deeply Meaningful Pair of Ducks
While it might initially sound funny if you’re not familiar with it, the tradition of jeon-an rye (전안례) was the presentation of a live goose to the bride’s parents. Since geese mate for life, this gesture was a symbol of his commitment to his bride.
The live goose were eventually replaced with a wooden goose in Joseon times and then replaced again with a pair of colorfully painted wooden ducks in modern times. These ducks are usually gifted to the newlywed couple by the parents as a symbol of love, fidelity, and a fruitful marriage.
Use a pair of ducks as decor during the ceremony and then display them in your home after the wedding.
Cleanse Your Hands and Bow
In traditional Korean weddings, one key part of the ceremony includes kwan-se rye (관세례), where the couple’s hands are washed to symbolize the purification of mind and body.
This is followed by kyo-bae rye (교배례), a formal bowing ritual in which the bride and groom face each other and perform a series of deep bows. Traditionally, the groom bows twice and the bride bows six times, reflecting Confucian hierarchy and gender roles.
To incorporate this tradition into a modern wedding, consider making the bows equal from both partners to reflect shared values. Add in the hand-washing ritual as a symbolic gesture of mutual respect and unity. This could be a quiet and intimate moment during your ceremony, or a special ritual shared with close family and friends.
Drink From the Same Cup
During the hap-geun rye (합근례) portion of the ceremony, the couple pledges to the heavens that they will remain faithful and fulfull their marriage obligations. To do this, they drink wine from either the same copper cup, a gourd split into two, or some combination of both. In some cases, the gourd is also connected by a string.
On the first drink, they will raise the cup to the sky and pour it on the ground. This is repeated twice, and then thier cup is refilled. This time the couple makes their pledge and drinks from the same cup, symbolizing how two people have now become one. The final sip is usually taken from the gourd cups, which, after the second sip, is switched between the couple to represent their interchange.
As the ceremony concludes, the couple turns to face their guests. In a deep bow, they show their respect to those attending, their family, and their ancestors in a final stage known as seong-hon rye (성혼례). For your wedding, consider adapting these traditions at the end of your ceremony or as part of your reception.
Paebaek: The Importance of Family in Korea
Historically, paebaek (폐백) used to be an intimate ceremony only conducted in private between the groom’s parents and the bride and groom. However, now both sets of parents are invited. During the ceremony, the bride and groom perform a series of rituals that include bowing to their parents, pouring tea, and receiving monetary gifts and blessings.
The couple will also hold a white cloth, and try to catch chestnuts and jujubes (dates) that their parents throw. The number caught is a symbol of the number of children they will have. In addition, the groom will also give his wife a piggyback once or twice around the table, and if the groom feels confident will do the same for his mother-in-law, as well.
Make Life Easier: Hire a Paebaek Service
While performing a traditional Korean wedding ceremony might feel overwhelming, you can hire a paebaek service to help set everything up. What’s great about this approach is that the service typically includes hanboks, food, table props, and more. They’ll also assist you with getting dressed and guide you through the details of the ceremony.
A great time to hold the paebaek ceremony is during cocktail hour or right after dinner. It’s a meaningful way to introduce Korean culture to guests who may be less familiar with it. You can even invite them to join in the fun by throwing chestnuts and jujubes while you and your partner try to catch them with a white cloth. And don’t forget the ceremonial piggyback ride!
I first learned about this service from Slice n Rice, a multi-racial couple on YouTube whose video offers a great overview of the paebaek and how to incorporate it into your wedding.
Be Prepared for Wedding Cash Gifts
In Korea, cash gifts are the norm instead of physical presents. Guests typically bring their gift in envelopes of money called chugui-geum (축의금). The amount given usually depends on the relationship to the couple, though there are often unspoken social expectations about what is considered appropriate.
From both first-hand experience and research, I’ve compiled a rough list of the varying amounts:
- ₩50,000 (approx. $40 USD) is typical for casual acquaintances or coworkers.
- ₩100,000 (approx. $75–$100 USD) is common for friends or familiar colleagues.
- ₩100,000–₩500,000+ (approx. $100–$400 USD) for close friends and extended family.
- ₩1,000,000+ (approx. $750+ USD) is often given by immediate family or significant people in the couple’s lives.
In Korea, there’s also a broader cultural understanding of reciprocity. For some weddings, I’ve heard from couples that they have kept a record of the gifts they received so they can return the favor in the future. Giving too little, or not giving at all, can also unintentionally signal distance or disrespect, even if that wasn’t the intention.
That said, the heart behind the gift is more important than the amount. It’s a deeply rooted tradition and heartfelt gesture. The cash gifts reflect a community coming together to celebrate, love, and support the couple’s next chapter.
To accommodate Korean guests who bring cash gifts to your wedding, consider having a designated place to safely put these gifts.
A Brief Overview of Modern Korean Weddings
Modern Korean weddings are typically short and efficient, often taking place at pre-designed wedding halls or churches. Over the years, many Western traditions have been adopted, but the ceremony’s focus still remains on the public union of two families.
Wedding venues often come with their own team of people that manage everything from the wedding script, run-of-show, etc. While outdoor and custom weddings are on the rise, it’s still common to hire a wedding directing service to organize all the details. They also assist with the selection of wedding dresses, wedding hanboks, and hair and make-up services. The wedding attire is almost always rented, and discounts are available if you use their affiliated vendors.
Compared to western cultures, Korean weddings are held throughout the week, not just on weekends. It’s also common for wedding venues to host multiple weddings in the same day or time. Many modern Korean weddings have lovely receptions but it rare to see the kind of elaborate receptions held in Western countries. This is especially noticeable during some post-wedding buffets, where several wedding parties may dine in the same shared space.
Interestingly, until the late 1990s, hotel weddings were banned in Korea for being seen as “too luxurious.” However, once the law changed, couples began hosting weddings in hotels with lavish decor and celebrations.
Modern Korean Wedding Customs to Consider
Create a Couple Video
This is a HUGE trend and something I’ve seen at many Korean weddings. The couple gathers personal video clips and photos from their relationship and creates a short highlight video. It’s usually shown right before the ceremony as guests arrive, during the ceremony itself, or featured on the couple’s wedding website.
Consider making a video like this to share with your guests as they take their seats or during the reception. You could also use it as a splash page on your website. It’s a meaningful way to reflect on your journey together and share those memories with the people you love.
Pre-Wedding Photoshoot
Korean photographers are highly skilled at delivering amazing memories of your entire wedding journey. Nowadays, many Korean couples have a wedding photoshoot before their wedding, which is often shot in a studio or on location. For my wedding photoshoot, we hired a photographer, make-up studio, and rented outfits. It was a jammed packed day with a few outfit changes, and multiple locations.
These photos are used for invitations, your wedding website, and displayed on entry tables at wedding halls and venues. If you have the budget and extra time, I highly recommend trying this out! It saves a lot of stress from having to get picture-perfect photos the day of your event.
Add a Memory Table
Whenever I attend a wedding in Korea, I love looking at the memory and welcome table the couple has set up. They are often full of beautiful photos of the couple taken at various stages of their relationship, or professional photos from their wedding photoshoot. In some weddings, I have even seen sentimental relics, fun props, or beautiful flowers added the table to fill in the spaces and gaps.
For both my Korean and American wedding, this is one part of my wedding that I’m most looking forward to setting up. We are having an outdoor wedding in Korea, and compared to other wedding halls, we have a bit more room to customize our theme. If you are having two weddings, my other tip is to try to coordinate one theme that can be adapted for both. It will make the props and decoration proces a lot easier.
Make Time for Guests to Have a Special One-on-One Greeting
One of the biggest cultural shocks for me was that in Korea, the couple often pick out the wedding dress together. There’s no “first look,” and I was surprised to learn that there is usually a designated time before the ceremony to take photos with the bride. In fact, there is a room or section of the venue just for this meet-and-greet and photo op.
While you might still want to keep your wedding dress a surprise, a fun way to incorporate this tradition is by setting up a photo zone or meet-and-greet location after the ceremony. It gives your guests a chance to have special one-on-one time with you and take photos that will last a lifetime.
Have a Close Friend MC Your Ceremony
A key feature of modern Korean ceremonies is the presence of an MC, often a close friend or family member. Provide them with a script to guide the ceremony, introducing each tradition, activity, or special moment throughout the day. If you prefer, you can have them make announcements throughout your reception instead of your ceremony.
Change Up The Entrance Music
I imagine many of us can hum the “Here Comes the Bride” by heart, but what I love about Korean weddings is that they have changed this tradition up. As the bride, groom, parents, etc. come down the aisle the music is often customized per person. It gives them a chance to groove, walk, dance, or even create a dramatic and cheorgraphed entrance.
One of my favorite videos I’ve seen online is of a groom pretending to be Thor, using a fake hammer to make his friends leap out of the way. It was hilarious and unforgettable. While it can feel daunting to have all eyes on you, consider choosing a song that’s personal and meaningful to you. Whether it’s emotional or playful, walking down the aisle to something that reflects who you are is sure to bring smiles, and maybe even a few tears.
Share Your Vows in Both Languages
While custom vows are more of a Western tradition, you can consider incorporating both Korean and English into your wedding vows. A friend of mine did this at her wedding, she read her vows in English, and her partner read his in Korean. Blending both languages into your ceremony is a beautiful way to honor and share the significance of each culture.
Adding a Special Guest Performance
Another fun aspect of Korean weddings that I love is watching the couple’s friends or family members sing their hearts out. Koreans love to sing, especially ballads, and I’ve never been to a wedding ceremony where someone didn’t perform a song. Through these performances, I’ve even discovered some classic Korean hits.
In addition to serenading your guests before your vows, I’ve also seen people give heartfelt speeches and break into dance routines. Unlike many American weddings I’ve attended, Korean ceremonies often feel like a beautiful stage production. At Korean wedding halls, I’ve seen ceilings open, lights change color, walls move, and chandeliers rise and fall in sync with the music.
Exit With a Bang
At many Korean weddings I’ve attended, the ending is just as beautiful and memorable as the beginning. The photographer and venue staff often help stage one final kiss at the end of the aisle. I’ve seen balloons float into the sky, and confetti fall like snow from the ceiling, all choreographed to create a magical closing moment. While not uniquely Korean, this could be a fun and dramatic way to end your ceremony or kick off your after-party.
Take Group Photos Post-Ceremony
At the end of most Korean weddings, a series of group photos is traditionally taken. It usually begins with the couple’s immediate and extended family, followed by friends and coworkers. This is also when photographers often direct guests into fun, choreographed photo ops, like using phone flashlights to create a sparkling effect as the couple shares a kiss.
Unlike many American weddings, the bouquet toss in Korean weddings is typically staged. The person catching the bouquet is usually pre-selected for the perfect photo moment. At my friend’s wedding, I was the chosen one, and we had to do a few takes to get the shot just right. The bouquet had to be mid-air, with everyone’s expressions perfectly timed!
While candid shots throughout the day are great, professional group photos add a timeless, memorable touch to your wedding album. They’re absolutely worth taking right after the ceremony and before the party begins!
Korean-American Wedding Reception Ideas
While Korean weddings rarely have a reception or party-like atmosphere afterwards, there are many ways to add some Korean flavor to your wedding.
Dance to Korean and American Music
What better way to have an American wedding than by dancing the night away with your close friends and loved ones?! To add some Korean flavor, find or work with a DJ who knows how to blend Korean and American hits together. Consider a first dance, wedding party dance, or mother-son/father-daughter dance that starts off slow and then breaks out into a full K-pop routine. Music offers so many fun ways to celebrate and mix cultures!
Showcase Traditional a Korean Fan or Drum Performacnces
If you have the budget, or right connections, adding a showcase of traditional Korean fan dance or drum performances could allow non-Korean guests the chance to further explore your culture. These moments are also a great nod to the parades that used to occur before traditional Korean weddings.
Play Traditional Korean Games
Depending on the vibe of your wedding, another great way to vary activities for guests of all ages is to include traditional Korean games. This works especially well if you’re inviting families with children, or if not every guest is into dancing. Game ideas could include jegi (제기), gonggi (공기), top-spinning or paeng-i chigi (팽이치기), kite flying or yeon nalligi (연날리기), tuho (투호), or even the board game yutnori (윷놀이).
Set up a Photobooth Station
This is becoming an increasingly popular trend at American weddings, but it also holds a lot of cultural relevance for a cross-cultural celebration. In Korea, almost every town or city, big or small, has a photo booth shop. At these places, you can choose props and backdrops and get your photos printed with cute, custom-designed borders.
Including this as an activity at your wedding could be a fun way to give your guests a unique party favor or even have them help capture moments for your own photo album. Unless you want to create your own DIY photo booth with Polaroid cameras, I recommend hiring a service that not only provides the full photo booth experience but also prints your photos with custom borders designed just for your special day.
Preparing the Perfect Korean Wedding Look
Consider Alternative Dress Shops
In Korea, wedding dresses are almost always rented rather than bought, which is both practical and convenient. Like in American weddings, the dress is tailored to fit you, and on the wedding day the shop typically sends an assistant to help with the gown.
While this might not be fully feasible if you’re marrying in the U.S., alternative options like secondhand bridal shops or high-end thrift stores can offer unique, barely-worn, or even vintage gems.
Essentials: Korean Wedding Hair and Makeup
It’s not a secret, Korean hair and makeup is a global phenomenon, and for good reason. The products are beyond high-quality, the techniques emphasize fresh, flowing, flawless, and youthful skin. Many Koreans prep their skin with facials or dermatology treatments in the weeks leading up to the ceremony.
If you’re after that luminous, “glass skin” look, a visit to your dermatologist or esthetician may be worth it. Want an even better idea? Make it a pre-wedding bonding experience with your bridal party or family leading up to your big day.
Consider a Hanbok Wardrobe Change
In a lot of Korean weddings nowadays, the couple starts in a suit and Western-style wedding dress from the moment they greet their guests until after the post-ceremony photo op. Afterwards, many of them change into stunning and beautiful hanboks. If you want to honor both cultures, plan your timeline to include a wardrobe change. You’ll get the best of both worlds and stunning memories in every frame.
Creating a Korean and American Wedding Menu
Growing up in a very Italian household, I learned the love language of serving a delicious meal. This value is just as deeply rooted in Korean culture. To create a wedding that truly bridges both hemispheres, consider blending traditional menus from each culture.
Decisions Decisions: A Buffet vs. A Full-Course Dinner
Since many modern Korean weddings opt for the buffet style, consider weaving this into your wedding reception. It also allows guests to try out different foods without the risk of committing to a full meal.
If you’re going for the standard full-course meal, consider how each course divides or blends different palettes and tastes. Pre-set banchan (반찬) or Korean side dishes and kimchi on every table is also a great idea!
Label Your Dishes Clearly and Creatively
If you are planning on serving appetizers, hors d’oeuvres, or opting for the buffet it’s always a good idea to clearly label food. Not only does this help people with dietary restrictions and food allergies, it also gets people curious and open to dishes they might be less familiar with.
You can also have fun with the labeling by incorporating visual cultural elements and using both languages. For an extra touch, add a spice level indicator using pepper emojis. A small detail that adds both personality and clarity, making the overall experience even more memorable.
Traditional Korean Wedding Menu Ideas
Many couples choose to serve traditional Korean food during the wedding meal, especially when older guests are in attendance. Symbolic dishes like janchi guksu (잔치국수), or banquet noodle soup, aren’t just delicious, they carry deep cultural meaning. Served in a clear beef broth with colorful vegetable garnishes, the long noodles represent a wish for a long and happy life together.
Alongside the noodles, couples often prepare tteok (떡), or rice cakes, beautifully decorated in delicate pastel hues that signify purity, abundance, and joy. Additional sweets like yaksik (약식), a honeyed sticky rice made with chestnuts and jujubes, and yakgwa (약과), flower-shaped honey cookies, are cherished traditional delicacies symbolizing prosperity and celebration.
In addition to sweets and noodles, many couples include hearty, savory dishes to satisfy guests and reflect abundance. Galbi (갈비), or grilled short ribs, and bulgogi (불고기), marinated grilled beef, are definite crowd-pleasers. Seafood dishes, soups, and seasonal specialties are also popular. Every province and family in Korea has its own variation of wedding menus, so consider drawing inspiration from your own roots to make the meal even more meaningful.
Korean-Amerian Fusion Menu Ideas
Crafting the right balance between traditional and modern is important when considering guests from different generations and cultures. Try playful and inventive options like bulgogi sliders, kimchi mac & cheese, or gochujang-glazed short ribs. These dishes are perfect for blending cultural comfort food with modern flair.
Or, add some fun with late-night Korean bites: tteokbokki (spicy rice cakes), hotteok (sweet pancakes), or even a DIY ramen cup bar. Another thing I definitely want to incorporate in my American wedding is cross-cultural cocktails. I love a good soju cocktail, unique flavored makgeolli, or drinks infused with yuzu, plum, or omija (five-flavor berry). A cocktail menu is a great way to bring Korean flavors into the Western reception vibe.
Korean Wedding Decor and Details
Color Palette and Decorations
As a designer, this was one of the most fun, but also most intimidating aspects of planning my wedding. I never thought I’d become part of the wedding Pinterest board scene, but alas, I did in fact go there.
While I chose my wedding colors based on the season and my love of fall hues, you can also easily incorporate Korean-inspired elements into the season of your choosing. Consider tones inspired by traditional Korean ceramics and embroidery—soft celadon greens, dusty blues, warm neutrals, or subtle gold accents.
Or take inspiration from nature, drawing colors and floral ideas from lotuses, peonies, rose of Sharon, cherry blossoms, and chrysanthemums. Each of these flowers symbolizes beauty, longevity, and good fortune in Korean culture.
Wedding Website and Invitations
I think one of the easiest ways to mix Korean and American cultures is one of the first things your guests often see: your signage, menus, invites, and wedding website. In each of these spaces, weave in the multi-lingual elements, Korean color palettes, and visual elements.
When designing your invitations, menus, and place cards, use Korean paper or hanji (한지), or patterns inspired by Korean folding screens or calligraphy. This is sure to elevate the design and provide textures that add a sense of luxury and personal touch.
Guest Party Favors and Korean Wedding Party Gifts
I love gift gifting and thinking of personal ways to express my love and gratitude. For my bridesmaid proposal gifts, I found an Etsy seller that carved my friends’ names in Korean and English on wooden chopsticks with najeon-chilgi (나전칠기) or mother-of-pearl-like embellishments.
I also gave them traditional Korean sweets, my favorite high-quality Jeju tea, and a bar of soap that was engraved with symbolism of Korean royalty. For the finishing touch, I wrapped the gift in bojagi (보자기) or Korean style gift wrapping, and watched videos until I finally mastered creating a fabric flower on top. I also found a Korean seller that sold maedeup (매듭) or Korean knot art to create the illusion it was all held together by string.
While these are just examples of some gift ideas, you can also think of personalized items that are both delicious, high-quality, useful, or simply just fun. Think mini soju bottles, monogrammed bokjumeoni (복주머니) or Korean satin pouches, artisanal Korean teas and traditional snacks, or mini skincare sets in elegant packaging.
Remember: It’s You and Your Partner’s Special Day!
My biggest piece of advice might seem the most obvious: pick and choose aspects of both cultures that matter to both of you. While family and traditions often need to be taken into account, you can still find special ways to make your special day uniquely yours. After all, you and your partner are a beautiful blend of many different backgrounds and experiences, which are all worth celebrating.
